This poem somewhat describes what I went through while I was undergoing a depressive phase last year. I believe people reading this might identify with it and feel better knowing that they are not alone. It is always comforting to know that there are others fighting the same demons as you are. This is for every person who has felt caged, suffocated or directionless at some point in life. You are not the only one, so hang in there because this too shall pass.
I open my eyes to the ting tong ting,
The unpleasant alarm going off again,
Sleep leaves me a bit too worn out,
Have to get to work, though it’s such a pain..
Mundane defines my everyday routine,
I struggle with making sense of things,
What should I look forward to anyway?
Nobody knows what the next day brings..
Wherever I go, there are people all around,
But I wonder why I always feel so alone,
I shall always be there for you they have said,
But is anything said ever cast in stone?
As I tread through the monotonous day,
I am grappled by despair and hopelessness,
I fear I am coming on too strong sometimes,
But trust me, I cannot help being in distress..
Will things ever fall in place as they should?
Will I ever comprehend what is happening to me?
I am desperate to make sense of things around,
But please just leave me the way I want to be..
The cacophony of the noises I live amidst,
And the eerie silence that constantly screams,
They hold me like a bird suffocated in a cage,
I am fighting my inner demons it seems..
It’s all about confusions and perplexities now,
Through a dungeon I am struggling my way out,
Like coffees gotten cold and projects incomplete,
Unfinished sentences represent my perpetual doubts..
I wish to scream my heart out to this universe,
But my energy serves me a ruthlessly cold betrayal,
I am looking for answers to my internal conflicts,
But I find myself in a state of thorough denial..
Could I please request for a present this birthday?
A box full of reasons to be happy from within,
‘Coz emotionally drained wouldn’t quite explain,
The broken state I have for very long been in..
Could you just come and hold my hand once?
And disengage me from the mess I look like,
Just hold me close when I am facing a breakdown,
Tell me the calm will follow and the chaos will subside..
Every face I come across on the streets and subways,
Reflects a tale that’s a little real and a bit too raw,
Strangers suddenly appear all too familiar to me,
They can read through the tears my folks never saw..
I come back home to what feels like emptiness,
Customary gestures don’t alleviate my pain,
I try hard, very hard, to get past through the void,
But I fall deeper into the gloomy abyss again..
Tomorrow is a brand new day, a new ray of hope,
Tomorrow the sun might brighten up the skies,
But for now I shall find comfort blacking it all out,
I feel too weak to even quit, slowly I shut my eyes…