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April 4, 2017 • Stuti Gokhale • 19 • New Delhi

Mental illnesses are often looked down upon in our society. Depression is not even considered a major issue. But do they know that how many lives this ‘minor trouble’ takes each year? Do they know how it feels to be pushed down under water by your own demons, and how hard it is to fight it all and push back up? No. No one knows because it is a battle that many fight inside but dont speak about. They fear speaking out loud as they may be branded “mad”. But trust me, it isn’t so dark my dear friend. You can fight it, you have that strength within you. They say art helps vent out and channelize all that is within you. And I couldn’t agree more. Writing, music and acting indeed have been my escapes, the first one always being the parachute I needed whenever life pushed me down cliffs. Here is a small example of it, an untitled work where I describe what inner turmoil and depression can feel like:


It was a dark unending night..
The winds were singing a turbulent song of their own..
As if trying to tell the story of her soul..
She who had those big beautiful eyes with questions abound.
Eyes with the wait and longing for someone never to arrive.
And yet she stood near the fluttering window, feeling the melancholy of the air around.


It had been ages since she had felt at peace..
Suddenly the lightning shook the windows hard..
Blinded by the light she closed her eyes in fear..
How she craved a warm protective embrace..
How she wished for a soft loving whisper in her ear..
But it was only she who held her own hand..


Often this feeling filled up her tiny wondrous head..
That she was not made for this big world..
She was scared to fight it all alone yet she did..
With all her might, strength and all her grit..
But all along her pain and dried tears she hid..
And she didn’t realize when the little girl in her grew up..


It was on nights like these that the lone engulfed her..
She’d sob for a feeling that had died in her arms..
For shadows and memories which perished long ago..
Soon the sobs turned into violent screams of silence..
Her own voice began to hunt her to madness..
She gradually found solace in the recesses of her own torment.


It was now not joy but slumber that she desired..
But that gentle stroke of serene sleep just eluded her..
As she lay on her bed and stared at the haunting moonlight..
A lone tear escaped the chamber of her deceased heart..
Her tired soul just wished for the soothing lap of absolution..
Awaiting the journey to fly away from this cage and depart..


And she waits, she waits, she waits..

TAGS #depression #loneliness #stereotypes